The Evolution

     Kids those wonderful bundles of joy that make you lose sleep, miss meals, late for work and turn gray from worrying. That same beautiful bundle that you’ve fought for when teachers didn’t want to call him/her by the name they wanted to be called by; only to grow up and request that they be called by the same moniker they didn’t like a few short years ago. Ahhh yes, these bundles seem to ooze endless amounts of joy through the very pores of their existence. You smile, you’re happy. Through tired eyes you say to yourself, “This is what I wanted”.

     As these once beloved bundles grow older (notice I said “once beloved”), you delve into girlfriends/boyfriends and other “traumatic” life issues. The only thing a sane parent starts to think about is the gene pool. Oh yea, admit it, you’ve looked at the person your son or daughter is dating and prayed a silent prayer that it won’t last long, taking one look at the other person and half smiling trying to be cordial. Now you have a sullen young person and life sucks, teachers, suck and you aren’t cool anymore (remember “once beloved”). You’re the one running around looking for dress clothes for a kid that never liked to dress up. You’re arguing with teachers over stupid things kids do, and of course me being me, I’m the one that says “you should have seen what I used to do”.

    As you navigate the ebb and flow of the crazy waves known as the teenage years, you start to wonder. You wonder if you’re doing things the right way, you remember when you were a teen and your own parents acted like they forgot what that was like. We won’t be like them, not us, not on this day. Suddenly, you’ve reached the point  where there are not enough adjectives to describe the things a young human being can do to test  the nerves coursing through your body. Once again, you’re relegated to smiling proudly as you watch them participate in school activities; all the while thinking and wondering what would happen if you put your hands around their scrawny little necks just for a little while.

     Navigating through these rough seas will have you wondering if this product you put on this fine earth will function without you around. You have other people taking credit for their successes, you have some saying the success of others is the reason your child is successful. Silently, you look at these people and you know “jackass if it weren’t for me, this clown wouldn’t be here right now”, but you keep that thought to yourself. There’s people noticing your son/daughter, rest assured it’s probably because of the effort you put in as a parent/cheerleader, it’s not because of some half wit person who gets his jollies by continuously putting kids down only to take all the credit when they succeed. These are the ones that make it in spite of people like that, not because of them. Once again, as a parent, you smile to yourself and think “I dare you to come around when he/she is successful”.

     Now you’re at the stage where a separation is in order. It’s necessary to tell your son/daughter “so long, make your way in the world”. It is at that point it seems they instantaneously revert back to that bundle of joy you so proudly cradled.  Somehow watching them become young adults almost erases those crazy teen years. They almost get it, almost. They’re able to tie their shoes without you and heck some can almost get dressed without you. You’ve come to another level of understanding with each other, oh you’re still not cool, but who else are they going to call when they need something?

      You’ve cleaned the snotty noses, kissed the little boo boos and stayed awake many a night with worry. You’ve lectured and counseled, hugged and admonished. You’ve even said some things that weren’t so nice at times, they lived. Your little bundle of joy has become a well rounded, open minded, intelligent individual. You didn’t have to beat them half to death, there are no ring marks around their necks and they can put a sentence together without mangling the English language. All of this as we parents watched the evolution of something we certainly thought was a creature from another planet become what we didn’t think was possible….human. For some of us, this evolution makes for a funny story later down the road. For some, to be able to sit back and smile, maybe chuckle about the journey this evolution brought you on is priceless. ~Just my two cents

Why Your Ass Was Deleted

            Social networks, that electronic way of catching up with old friends, family, ex partners or people that share the same interests as you. That kind of sums up everything from the bowels of MySpace to Google+. Side note; YOU still have a MySpace, ha ha ha. Ok, sorry about that, MySpace was cool once upon a time. I know some of you are having a hard time removing yourself because of the simplistic nature of the site. Now, getting back to reality; did you friend the same people from one network to the other? Did you find yourself removing friends between transitioning or adding new networks?

            Being involved with any social network is like a big block party. If you don’t like what’s going on, you can take your ball and go home. The big difference is we tend to treat that like a major break up of some sorts. If we remove someone from one of our pages, the removed person gets a little touchy about it. Hell it’s the internet, get over it already! Just the opposite occurs if you are the one removing a person first. It’s like we get to gloat a little and say “ha, I took that person off my page, I’m a bad ass”. Truth be told, did you really want that person on your page or were you just going for the numbers because everyone else was doing it?

            Now, this is where I’m different. I’ll remove AND block a person with the thought of screw you, you haven’t changed much since I first met you. Love it!!!! Let’s get to some truths here, well, at least my truths… You’re an ex boyfriend that hasn’t been seen since sixth grade, you reconnect and the first thing that comes into a chat is “It’s been a long time (duh!) I’ve been married, divorced with x amount of kids. So are you seeing anyone?” Seriously, this has happened more than once. My reaction…that’s why your ass was deleted! Then there’s the ex fiancé who pops up every couple of years and feels that because he’s on your page, you’re back to a relationship….oops, deleted and blocked. Somehow reconnecting gets misconstrued as rekindling a childhood fling and almost always will get a person removed.

            I’ve moved friends from one site to the next only to end up removing them altogether. Sometimes being wirelessly connected has a way of reminding you that some people haven’t changed in all these years. There’s always that one person that starts friending everyone yet no one remembers who that person is. It’s funny and it’s happened. Those you don’t really delete, you just move them to a list that you rarely look at. You may not remember them, but sometimes they put up interesting things. There are the ones no one really cared for, but they’ve rediscovered their lost souls and shout the Gospel; your ass was still removed. Religion, like tears, doesn’t move me. There was one person who got upset by what I said about a nameless person and decided to tell me quite publicly why they were deleting me. Damn, I forgot to shed a tear, my bad. That was coming from someone that no one really talked to in the first place, explain the loss there. Oh snap MY ass was deleted!!!!

            What makes this whole “my playground” scenario so funny is the thought that we have to explain why we’re deleting someone. I’m guilty of it for sure, don’t think you are? If you say “I’m cleaning out my page it’s about that time…” Or, “I’m getting tired of seeing certain people complain all the time, guess I need to clean up my page” then you’re guilty as well. So, not only have we felt obligated to add people we hardly ever spoke to, we feel obligated to expound as to a cause of their removal. Sadly, we’ve become a whiny bunch of people who feel that everyone has to like them. Back to grade school we go, come on get on the big yellow. Ok, for some of you the short yellow.

            My all time favorite for deleting people????? A person friends people on my list they don’t know and try to sell them things. That is the ultimate way to be removed. It is one thing if you want to hawk your wares, but using someone else’s page to do it warrants an immediate ejection. I’ve had two instances of that, one had to be removed and blocked from any site I’m associated with and the other…well…..let’s just say I took a little too much pleasure in the fact that the little pyramid scheme blew up in their face. Yes, that’s mean to say, but meanness overcomes ignorance.  Hmmm, I thought that sounded good. Oh well, be warned, don’t try to sell your stuff through my page.

            If you’re one that feels the need to be a bummer every day, you’ll see.  If you’re one that never responds when people write you saying how busy you are yet you’re always online, you’ll see. If you’re the type that friends people because everyone else did, you’ll see. If you think just because you all went to the same school that makes you friends, you’ll see. If you can’t find a person’s post after a few days, you’ll see. If you’re one that thinks reconnecting means someone wants something more, you’ll see. If you’re one that doesn’t understand tongue and cheek humor, you’ll see. Now, what the heck will you all see???? Why your ass was deleted. ~ Just my two cents

Yep, I Wrote That

                                

            Once a week I think about what I should write about. Sometimes I get ideas from what I see on TV and other times I get ideas from what I read. The fun part of having your own blog and page is the fact that your opinion is expressed openly and shared with whomever you choose to share it with.  When you write, you almost put yourself in a state of euphoria; you have that feeling that no one can touch you in your world. Ha, that’s where things get tricky.

            I’ve always been told the pen is mightier than the sword and I’ve always written with that fact in mind. I love the fact that I can take a person out just by what I write, of course that doesn’t make it right; but I love the rush. I hold to the belief that if you don’t like what I write, you have the option to not read it, but think about it….there’s something that brings you back. There’s something in you that says, “what’s she going to say today, who’s she going to piss off?” What makes it more intriguing is I write fact, I don’t feel the need to write garbage and b.s. In turn, the same people that get intrigued are the same ones that usually get upset first. To that I say, “Oh well”.

            With writing, one can almost right the wrongs that were once done. Think about it, you have a chance to put pen to paper and tell your story. You don’t have to name names, the person will figure out who they are then out themselves trying to take you to task. People are funny. People are free to write whatever they want, it’s their world, and I’ve seen it. The irony is the same ones that feel they can say whatever they want are the same ones who get upset when you say something they don’t like. Been there, done that, biatch please!

            Believe me, there is always someone out there that knows who you’re talking about and what you’re talking about. Now whether or not they let you know they know is a different story. For example; I had a teacher in third grade that used to threaten to slap everyone, well mostly the kids of color. Funny, there were only five of us in that class. One day she finally slapped one boy and fancied herself quite proud. She used to threaten me all the time and I just glared at her. This is the same teacher who thought it was a good idea to teach us a slavery song, or what she called a slavery song. If I were to see this teacher today, I’d love to slap her. I guarantee there are some that know who I’m talking about without mentioning a name or the school I went to.

            You see, when you write, you can put your story out there. Some people choose to put everything out there, nothing wrong with that; if they don't misspell half of what is written. Some choose an outlet that showcases how sad they are as evidenced in all their complaints. Now I haven’t quite figured out why people use any social outlet as a common migration point for all that’s wrong in their lives, I guess the thought process somehow dictates that if it’s written someone will care and feel sorry for them. Newsflash….no one cares!!! With that said, I, along with others continue to read those pitifully written postings. Hmmm, something about the shameless public showing of pain that gets me right there….yea right.

            I’d like to think I choose my audience carefully, yep, that’s why it’s public for the whole world to see. Seriously, I think I have a good handle on what can be interesting or crappy. My opinion, like anyone else’s, doesn’t matter and we all know this. What gets the reader (you) is how I’m going to state that opinion, that’s the hook right there. What I say is irrelevant, how I say it is pisses a person off. I have a chance to say in writing things I couldn’t say when I was younger. You can tell by the way I write that I would say the same in person if presented the chance, hmm, might be why I haven’t been presented the chance YET!

            I guess when it comes down to it, life isn’t that serious but it does make an interesting read; depends on who’s doing the writing. Some of you should take a step back and realize all the misery you’re writing about is providing comic fodder for someone else….probably me. Yep I wrote that!~ Just my two cents

How Are You? A Not So Simple Question

      When someone asks how you are, what do you say? Are you one that says “I’m fine thanks” or are you the one that goes into detail about how miserable your life is? Well, has it occurred to you that a person is merely extending a courtesy by asking how you are?

    Why do some feel the need to list every problem they have in life just to answer one simple little question? My mother was guilty of this “open complaining” issue. If someone asked her how she was, she would go into a 20 minute dialogue about her whole day, what hurts this time and what illness she thought she had. Usually, I ended up cutting her off by saying “I just asked a simple question”.

     Everyone goes through some trials and tribulations, and yes; misery does seem to love company.  The humor in this simple little question is the fact that if you don’t ask a person how they are, the person gets offended.  You can, in general, walk around offending people unintentionally and never know it.

     Let’s not forget the death of an interview; “How are you? Tell me a little about yourself”. One would guess that I’m fine thanks, how are you is slightly insufficient. No, the need to know more about you just opened that door between sharing your life story or, at the very least, leaving the person with a thought of how boring and needy you really are. Answer too broadly and you get the non-rhetorical response of “Well alright, I have others to interview and someone should be in touch soon”.  Answers to vaguely you get the “Ok, do you have any questions for me? No? Great, well thanks for your time”. Either way, that was the slam of the door locking as you left with your tail between your legs. 

     It’s amazing how a simple question yields so many different responses and emotions. No matter how you answer this question, the person that asked is going to have a “that’s nothing…. story” Really, do you honestly want to hear about every little detail of someone’s life? Try running into an old friend at the mall and ask them how they are; you will get a whole litany of happenings since the two of you last spoke. Wow, imagine if it’s a person you haven’t seen in years, you’re standing in the middle of a mall hearing stories of things you probably aren’t really interested in hearing about hoping that person doesn’t notice you looking at your watch.

     I think I have the perfect solution; at least it works for me. If I want to know more about how someone is, I usually write them and say something like “Catch me up on the past few months or years…” That opens the door and shows the person you are interested in what they have to say. That affords both of us the chance to talk about family, jobs, losses in the family or whatever. Personally, I’d like to think I’m pretty good about keeping in touch personally with a select few. I really enjoy catching up with a lot of people and following their children’s sporting events.

     Now, if you ask someone how they are and you get a long drawn out ‘woe is me’ story, try this…”I’m sorry to hear that” That closes that door pretty fast and lets a person know you won’t be indulging in their daily dose of self wallowing about life’s misfortunes. I think we could all write a portion of a book about life’s misfortunes, but some would have you believe they are the only ones experiencing some type of setback. Some divulge more information to a person asking how they are then they do their doctors. Seems a bit backwards that people would want to put out a life story to people they haven’t seen or talked to in a while, yet can’t give their doctors more than a yes or no answer. Life’s little irony I guess. ~ Just my two cents