I’ve
been sitting around thinking about time and how we use it. I thought about
things that have happened and the elapsed amount of time. I often wonder why
things are fully seen only after they happen, even when you yourself have that
instinct that something is amiss. I remember I had a set goal; I gave myself
five years to achieve certain milestones. I met those milestones and then
something happened. The nice comfy, soft ground became hard as a rock and once
the room starting spinning, the rest of the universe spun out of control as
well.
It’s funny when you start to lose
control you believe you can regain it easily and quickly. You soldier on with a
smile on your face, never letting them see you sweat; but sweating you are. A
new reality starts to set in, the reality where you say to yourself “Damn, this
is super messed up”. Going back isn’t an option, pushing forward is a chore;
all that’s left is time. No one will really understand because they’re too busy
talking about their own issues. Those people are the ones that put down other
people for the slightest thing, I call them the “anti everything people”. I
have a lot of those types on my Facebook page. Thanks to time, one has a chance
to sit back and watch people’s true feelings come out in their own words. Look
at your page and just watch, I bet you didn’t know how many of your friends really
uncaring, prejudiced and biased people are.
I can look in my way back clock and
see where things took a crazy turn; it was in my teens when I was always sick
and no one could figure out why. Pushing through the decades of going back and
forth to different doctors and having even the closest of friends call me lazy
all grinds through the same gears of time. Some people only remember a small
piece of a past time, I remember it all. There is no time lapse in my mind,
just a steady calendar with a lot of notes. I feel like a chocolate version of
Santa keeping a list of who’s naughty and nice, only thing is, no one gets a
present. Oh time, time, time; aren’t you
just a little devil!
As we get older, we actually start
to take a little more time for sanity’s sake; well, we try to. Sit back and
think about a short period of time and what has happened; is it good or bad or
both? My short period of time is 19
months. In that time I’ve lost my mom, sent my son off to school (twice now),
gotten one heck of a piece of news from a doctor that still has me catching my
breath and pretty much walked away from a friendship that was toxic to me. I’ve
reconnected with a friend that I’ve talked about forever and actually took the
time to tell that person I wish they were here when my son was born. We picked
up our conversation like it was never interrupted by 20+ years. I’ve learned
that sometimes, I may need to ask for help as I slowly become a little less
stable. I’ve reconnected with old friends from down south and yep, I still say
they’re backwards.
I’ve also learned to find more irony
in just about everything. Those that know me will say only I would be able to
do that. I’m sure I’m not the only one that notices people with children that
aren’t that attractive are the ones posting the most sayings or pictures about “beautiful”
children. I’m just the only one that will say something about it. So here you
go, if you really believe your kids are that good looking, why the need to keep
saying it like you have to prove to everyone they are??? Oh the irony! My
generation is between the generation of parents that sent their kids away when
they “messed up” and the generation that glorifies teen pregnancy by creating
reality shows; seriously people think about that; now that’s ironic. Once again
our dear friend time steps in and takes a bow while slyly smiling.
We all say we don’t have enough time
for things, yet as you see 19 months is a short time for a lot to happen. The
same ones complaining about lack of time are usually the ones sitting on the
computer either playing games or hanging on Facebook. I’ve been fortunate
enough to look back in time, see what I didn’t/don’t like and start to make
time work for me. There’s a lot of people that take a lot of time expressing
their views about how others live, spend or anything else different from
themselves, that’s a lot of wasted time that you will never get back, is it
worth it? In the end time will win
because it runs out, before it does, make sure you pack a lot into that little
bit that’s given to you.~ Just my two cents
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